The Court of Public Opinion

Frustrated, Oliver Bloom quit his job at a prestigious New York investment firm.  He was tired of trading in pork futures and managing hedge funds, which enabled clients to bet against their own investments in case of a market downturn.  Oliver felt that all was not right between himself and God.  He gave all his money to the poor.

Not wishing to be a burden on anyone, he pocketed a few seed packets from a local plant nursery on Long Island, fully intending to return the two dollars and ninety-eight cents as soon as possible.  He wanted to find a small parcel of public land and grow vegetables so as not to be a burden on taxpaying citizens.  Unfortunately, the clerk caught Oliver shoplifting the seeds and called the local police.

Oliver was arrested and stood before a local judge the next day.  The judge wasn't sure what to do with the defendant standing before him.  Oliver was a well-intentioned man who was trying to live an honest life.  The judge had lost a lot of money in pork futures and admired Oliver's mindset and rugged individualism.  He decided that he couldn't render a verdict.  He turned the case over to the Court of Public Opinion.

It took a couple of weeks to get the attention of people across the world, but thanks to social media, the earth's seven billion people focused on the Town of Nassau vs. Oliver Bloom.  The verdict was unanimous, which was remarkable given that the jury was comprised of seven billion people.  It was decided that Oliver had indeed committed a crime, but not a really bad one.  He was sentenced to plant several acres of vegetables for poor people.

The Supreme Court of the United States tried to overturn the verdict, claiming that Wall Street had been made to look bad during the proceedings of the trial.  Most of the justices had investments in hedge funds.  The Court of Popular Opinion overturned the Supreme Court, however, and the justices were sentenced to planting vegetables for poor people.

 by William Hammett

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